taylor's poem

currently i'm working on a poem about my relationship with my best friend. it's challenging, because it's difficult to find the exact right words to explain what we've been through and what she means to me. but this is what i've gotten so far.

You and me, we’re all we’ve got,
Watching everyone we love falsify their thoughts.

Tracing back the merciless months,
I know ‘em like the back of my hand-
The unbearable desolation we tested firsthand.

There’s diamonds in the dirtiest places,
And stars in the blackest skies,
Devastated outcomes revealing the mightiest ties.

It’s been a long time getting up from such,
Testing ourselves and everyone we see,
Challenging them to disagree,

With what we’ve crafted of an old friendship,
Sending them sailing on a distant guilt trip.

The way I see it we’ll never look back,
And if we do it’ll be the slightest peek,
Only to recall our great triumph streak.

The road’s obstructed with opposing declarations,
But it’s so bright that I can see through the breaks,
And let me tell you it’s beautiful in spite of the mistakes.

It’s so distressing to attempt this alone,
Still you’re keeping my feet on the ground but my head in the clouds
The paths are taking our lead, we won’t follow the crowds.

We’ve raised and dragged each other this far,
Breaking and scraping to get where we are.

untitled

You’re looking down, and I
see through the triumph and
mockery and rotten tendencies

to pick out the beautiful pieces I
thought to be so much larger.
You’ve made the world a little

darker; turned the clock a little
slower. Assuring them you’ve gotten
away with it again. The walls

settle once you’ve left, their crackling
sighs follow you to the door. I hear
them pleading me to untack

you from their skin. You’re nothing
that you thought you’d be. Twenty- one
and your days are numbered. Do whatever

it takes to make you feel alive. Green leaves
fall for you, and the earth spins for you.
The people laugh at you. You’re nothing

that I thought you’d be. A love drunk
child too crude to grow.
The road’s too raw to wait.

Feeling Sorry

Feeling Sorry on Paramore's new cd. I find it absolutely perfect for my situation.

We still live in the same town, well, don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore.
I go to all the same places, not even a trace of you...
Your days are numbered at 24(can i change this to 21?).
And I'm getting bored waiting round for you,
We're not getting any younger, and I
Won't look back 'cause there's no use
It's time to move forward!

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave!
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time for feeling sorry!

I tried not to think of what might happen,
When your reality, finally, cuts through.
Well, as for me, I got out and I'm on the road.
The worst part it that this, this could be you.
You know it too, you can't run from your shame!
You're not getting any younger, time,
Is passing by, but you waited awake...
It's time to roll over!

And all the best lies,
They are told with fingers tied!
So cross them tight,
Won't you promise me tonight
If it's the last thing you do, you'll get out...

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave.
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time, I've got no time!

Thinking Outside the Idiot Box

In response to Steven Johnson’s view that T.V makes you smarter, Dana Stevens argues that the only thing television teaches you is to watch more television. Her view is that the alleged increasing complexity of TV show plots doesn’t cause us to think critically, it merely causes us to want more of the show. She points out that shows like The Sopranos, one of the many series in this supposed smart TV era, may have more complicated plotlines but that doesn’t, as Johnson says, challenge our cognitive faculties. These elaborate outlines actively discourage viewers from thinking about anything but future episodes.
Stevens notes the sixteen minutes of commercials embedded in the episodes of these so called mind stimulating shows, which are just continuously telling us to eat this because it’ll make you happy, or to use this because we’re ugly, or go here because we’re social inept losers who ironically, are fixed to our televisions. America’s social skills are becoming more and more underdeveloped as we spend our nights observing Lauren Conrad or a pregnant teenager’s life lessons instead of experiencing our own. We long to be like these reality TV stars and actors, but you don’t see them slouched on their couch watching someone else live a fulfilling life. We feel the need to turn the TV on to fill the silence in a room, because we’d rather laugh at Saturday Night Live with our friends than talk to them.
The author tells us about the TV-B-Gone, a remote control that can turn off most TVs from twenty to fifty feet away, designed to restore tranquility in public places where televisions are placed. The question she raises about this device is whose right is it to decide what should be on television? My question is why do we need televisions in public places at all? Wal-Mart now has TVs for your viewing pleasure while you wait in line to buy your groceries, as do some gas stations. Why do we need to be entertained with dancing pictures during every minute of the day?
Your average 1960’s living room furniture was arranged to face inward, so that visitors and family could converse and discuss what the day had brought. Now we bow down to this neon God, center our time and sofa’s and meals around it, while wondering why society is getting fatter, and lazier, and coming up with technological “advances” that allow us to be only fatter and lazier yet.
I don’t think television makes you smarter at all, in fact I think it does just the opposite. I also, like Dana Stevens, don’t think it’s necessary to completely rid our routines of television. Is it possible to reverse our ways and cut back on our four hour a day TV watching, especially when they’re only getting bigger and bigger, and the clarity on the screen is becoming more vibrant than reality? We have a responsbility as humans to carry on intelligence, to read books, to be active and productive, to observe the world not through an electrical box and satellite waves, but the way we’re meant to see it- through our own eyes.

wednesday night rant

my mother is a child. almost every night i have to wake her up from sleeping on the couch after hours upon hours of playing computer games WHILE watching television. tonight i woke her up and she had fallen asleep with the remote control still pointed at the television. every time i awake her, she sits up a little startled, so i go back in my room, come out five minutes later and she's asleep again. i finally just stopped waking her up again and again and just started turning off the tv. i clean the kitchen and do the dishes every day. she leaves food out when she's done cooking. i didn't clean it up this last time to see if she would. she didn't. there's a bowl of mashed potatoes and another of green beans that has been on the counter for well over 24 hours. it'll still be there tomorrow. and the next day until i clean it up. she doesn't put anything back where it goes. she'll leave the butter on the counter and not put it back in the refrigerator. she let's the cats roam the kitchen counters and throw up on the dining room table and not clean it up. she eats a giant cup of ice cream drowned in coke or dr. pepper every. single. night. she smokes two cigarettes at a time and leaves the door open so the smell comes in the house.
WHY DID I NOT NOTICE THESE THINGS BEFORE!? GET ME OUT OF HERE. DEAR GOD, PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE.

The Uses of Poverty: The Poor Pay All

Thesis: Poverty and those associated with it- the poor, serve positive and often necessary functions in society. These positive functions explain the persistence of poverty and why it is an obligatory part of the social order. Also expressed are alternate functions that could replace those served by the poor, but at a higher price to those more prosperous.

Summary: The author explains the continuous existence of poverty as an indication that it fulfills unrecognized, constructive functions. Among the economical functions is the fact that the poor are willing to work the dirty, underpaid, and often dangerous jobs that the higher classes are not. If poverty were to cease to exist, society would have to pay higher wages to those less eager to do these undignified jobs. Poverty also creates jobs for those who make careers out of servicing the underprivileged. It is noted that without poverty penology, the police, and other crime prevention organizations would be minute. Socially, the poor provide a cultural purpose “when culture created by or for them is adopted by the more affluent. The rich often collect artifacts from extinct folk cultures of poor people; and almost all Americans listen to the blues, Negro spirituals, and country music, which originated among the Southern poor”(p.22, Pp3). Another social function of poverty is that puts the minds of higher classes at ease, knowing that their status is certain as people feel the need to know where they stand, and the poor serve as a basis of comparison. Among political functions, the poor advocate conventional norm. “Not only does the alleged moral deviancy of the poor reduce the moral pressure on the present political economy to eliminate poverty but socialist alternatives can be made to look quite unattractive if those who will benefit most from them can be described as lazy, spendthrift, dishonest and promiscuous”(p.23, Pp4). The author also suggests functional substitutes to poverty, such as paying higher wages to employees doing the “dirty work”, and the professionals who prosper because of the poor could be found alternate means of work. A stated, many functions served by the poor could be eliminated and replaced, but usually at a higher cost to those who flourish because of the existence poverty.

Response/Synthesis: Americans today tend to believe that poverty is an overall horrific thing. What functional socialists do is make you question such judgments, as Grans has done in this article. I believe that our society would function much differently, perhaps worse or perhaps better, if poverty were to cease to exist. I don’t really believe that we can say without experience, what the outcome of such a situation would be. There may be latent functions, or unanticipated positive effects on social order and stability if poverty were eliminated. Deficiency in the lowest class certainly has no constructive result on the poor themselves, so is it ethically correct to condone and want for them to continue these poor quality lives for our own good? I believe it’s survival of the richest in America, and maybe even the world. Maybe society adapts to whatever is thrown at it. If there had never been such a thing as poverty, we would function just perfectly. But since it does exist, a complete turnaround would be a difficult thing to adjust to. Other roles need to be found for badly trained and incompetent professionals serving the poor, because they shouldn’t be serving anyone if they’re lacking the ability to do the jobs they claim they’re able to. Alternatively, on a psychological medium, maybe the idea of poverty is what keeps the entire country from turning into materialistic, selfish people. Of course, those people do already exist, but if poverty were eliminated, would we all be that way? Perhaps the poor keep us realistic and grounded, and aware of our society. If I never saw what could happen to me if I didn’t have the money and things that I do, I might not be as thankful, or I might spend more frivolously and not have a care in the world of what were to happen to me, as may the rest of society.

Smalex Smalman pt. 2

I was smitten. He officially asked me to be his on an exceptionally dark November night, or rather suggested it.
“We should go out.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Well, I’m asking.”
“Okay. Sure.”
I sat in my room gazing at the walls, and forced myself to grasp what I was doing. “Say it,” The trembling voice in my head said to me, “Say it out loud.” Three minutes passed. “Say it!” Two minutes passed. This time, the tone I used wasn’t as secure, but by God was it sure, “I’m setting myself up. He’s going to hurt me.”

love knows no gender

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/07/AR2009040701663.html



they're stuck at the crossroad
buried beneath shame
life is a curse now
love is a game
holy vows turn into civil rights
in a nation that doesn't pick it's fights
holy souls become livid mobs
because shackling "sinners" is their sacred job
a crime it is to love someone
what a twisted world this is
you could never bring them down
for love will always exist